When we get into arguments, it goes on for days. I sometimes think to myself why am I still sticking around for nothing to happen. I don’t feel appreciated. I don’t feel that you try as hard as I do in the relationship. & when I feel down. I have no one to go to cause no is in my position. I sit in my room where the only thing I can lean on is my pillow. Where it soaks up my tears. Quietly my tears become to waterfalls. I wish you know how much pain you put me through. I wish you knew how hard it is to look at you and your son and to think. This isn’t my family. This isn’t my kid. & when I look at your son, I don’t just see you, I see her. You guys have your own family. I’m just a girlfriend to you. Nothing more, nothing less. I feel unwanted, used, and my feelings are hurt. I’m not over exaggerating because this has happened before, I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I want to give up. Give up on us, cause when I need you, you aren’t there for me. You busy on yourself. I’m lied to all the time like im nothing to you. Why can’t you make me feel important for once. After all the things I do for you. I go beyond just for you. And I blame myself cause those are my decisions. How could you have the mindset and think what your doing is okay. Why can’t you feel the pain i’m feeling everyday. I’m not used to you having a kid. Sometimes, I wonder why am I here?! I’m 18 years old, and I feel like i’m living a life of a 25 yr old. No teen dates someone who has a kid. Dear God, I need you right now. I’m lost. I’m numb. I’m a wreck. I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore, i’m suffering day by day, letting this happen to me.
(via vintage-couture)
